


Go Grab a Plunger

by Colourcodedbinders



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Missing Scene, Stevie is a decent friend, dumb boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28784778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colourcodedbinders/pseuds/Colourcodedbinders
Summary: “You’re on,” Patrick says finally, and he catches her smile before greeting the man that’s just entered.Best case scenario, he walks out of here tonight with a boyfriend. If not, he gets a whole day of bossing his friend around.It’ll be fun.ORDavid thinks of Patrick as his boyfriend. Of course he does. He just needs to be prodded into admitting it out loud.Set during 4x04: Girl's Night
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 16
Kudos: 125





	Go Grab a Plunger

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I'm back!
> 
> This is.... not as good as I wanted it to be, but I'm still testing the waters and trying to work these characters out, so please bear with me. It was also written in one sitting. My work ethic is not flawless.
> 
> I love the Patrick/Stevie dynamic, and I'd always wished we got to see them interact more. I think I'll make it a habit to explore dynamics between underrated pairs on the show. It's fun. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Missing scene of sorts set during 4x04.

Patrick watches David leave until the store’s own view obstructs Patrick’s view, forcing his gaze away. His gait is quicker than usual, purposeful. He’s pretending to be offended, Patrick knows, though his facade will break down as soon as he’s across the street. He knows they don’t mean any harm. David trusts them to let him know, quick and firm, when he’s stepping out of line. Anything else is just mindless fun. Just run-of-the-mill Patrick and Stevie bonding. 

“God, you’re disgusting,” Stevie whines when he turns to face her, but there’s no bite behind the words. She stands up then, lifting off the counter she had been leaning against, and makes her way through the displays in the store, eyeing every product with that look in her eye that Patrick knows means certain trouble. He follows her, wordlessly. No one knows how to mess with David like Stevie does. She knows how to edge him towards that fine line, the one between a gloriously disgruntled David and a full-blown panicked one, without ever tipping him too far over the edge. Usually he’d be weary of the way her fingers ghost over every item on their carefully arranged shelves, and of the way her lips almost tug into a smirk when she reaches the back wall, almost lunging for the plungers. Today, however, he’s feeling a little bold, a little bothersome. 

(And no, his current mood has nothing to do with the way that an inconvenienced David almost _always_ leads to a flustered and frustrated David, who argues about how _correct_ he is with his entire body, all large hand gestures and deep creases between his brows. And it has _absolutely_ nothing to do with the fact that frustrated David is only a precursor to placatable, Patrick-needing David. Absolutely not. Not in the slightest.)

Stevie waves him over, and he follows her lead easily as he watches her excitedly eye some of the hidden displays. “You know what we have to do, right?”

He nods. Of _course_ he knows. If there’s one thing Patrick Brewer prides himself on being excellent at, that thing is annoying the _shit_ out of David. 

He beelines for the corner, where he knows David had taken extra care to tuck some of their more _functional_ items, and grabs a few plungers of their display. “I’m sure he’ll be glad to make a tiny compromise for the better of the store.”

“Of course, for the better,” Stevie replies, dead serious. “I could’ve sworn I heard a crowd of people at the cafe saying they desperately need to unclog their toilets but just _can’t_ find the tools to do it.

“Luckily, Rose Apothecary is an establishment that believes in serving the townsfolk first and foremost.”

Together, they move the entire toilet plunger display to the head of the store in record time. He steps back and admires their beautiful mess, hearing Stevie’s sigh of contentment as she pats him on the back for their horrible job well done. 

It looks terrible. David is going to _lose_ his shit. Patrick can’t wait. 

“How long do you think your boyfriend will last before he forces you to shut the store down?” she teases, throwing a playful punch at his shoulder, and his head involuntarily snaps to face her when he replies: _“We’re not boyfriends.”_

“You’re kidding me, right?” she asks, furrowing her brows like she’s heard some dumb joke. “What in the hell else would you be?”

There’s no answer, so Patrick doesn’t offer one. Logically, he _knows_ that’s where they’re headed. Were it up to him, they’d have been there for a while now. He doesn’t want to hide it anymore, the way he associates the word with his business partner so effortlessly, the way he _has_ been for longer than he cares to admit. 

He is, however, not the only person to consider here. As much as Patrick wants to run around town singing his _boyfriend’s_ praises to all that will listen, he won’t. He knows that this step is David’s to take, first. 

David is annoyingly confident, is the thing. If he doesn’t compromise, it’s because he knows that his vision has merit - and he’s usually right, even if Patrick won’t tell him that, lest it go to his head. (Though, to be fair, most things go to David’s head. Whether anyone wants them to or not.) It’s one of the things that Patrick had been most attracted to when contemplating an investment in Rose Apothecary. Well, that and the guy who owns it. Patrick wants David to have that unabashed confidence in them, and in their relationship, as well. Scaring him off by forcing commitment onto his fragile heart just _isn’t_ the move, he’s decided. Not yet.

Stevie’s still staring at him like he’s being absolutely absurd, which may not be new but is absolutely unwarranted in his case, so he swats at her shoulder and turns around, making his way to the counter. 

“This is so dumb,” she says, following him. “You know he totally thinks of you as his boyfriend, right? You have to know.”

“He’s never said it,” he shrugs.

“Dude, it’s _David,_ ” she presses. “He won’t say anything until you like, pull it out of him.”

“Maybe he just isn’t ready, you know. Wouldn’t want to - apply pressure, or whatever.” His hands have found their way into his pockets, and Stevie is still looking at him like he’s said something insane. It takes a second or two, and then she’s snapped out of it. She leans closer to him, resting her weight on the counter between them.

“Patrick,” she says conspiratorially.

“Stevie.”

“This plunger display is going to annoy your boyfriend into admitting that he’s your boyfriend before the end of today.”

He blinks at her. That seems highly unlikely. It doesn’t even make _sense._

“Patrick, I know that you understand him pretty well, but I _know_ I can annoy him into admitting it. Without scaring him off.” 

“I just don’t see how plungers is the way to do that.”

“I am willing to bet on it, Patrick.”

He studies her. On one hand, this is stupid. On the other, Stevie is one of the few people to Patrick’s knowledge that _knows_ David. The only other person would be Alexis, he thinks. Maybe she’s onto something. 

Besides, it’s a harmless bet, right? Can’t hurt.

“What are we betting?”

“Loser owes the winner a full day of free labour. I need a break from cleaning the motel bathrooms.”

“And you’re not going to pressure him into anything?” 

“I won’t say a thing. The plungers will suck it right out of him.”

A customer walks into the store, and Stevie pretends to busy herself by walking over to the moisturizers and intently reading their labels. 

“You’re on,” Patrick says finally, and he catches her smile before greeting the man that’s just entered. 

Best case scenario, he walks out of here tonight with a boyfriend. If not, he gets a whole day of bossing his friend around. 

It’ll be fun.

* * *

David’s reaction to the plungers is everything he’d hoped it would be.

* * *

He doesn’t know who the hell used the bathroom in room 3, but they need to see a doctor _immediately,_ and Patrick needs to go grab a plunger.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you didn't barf :)
> 
> Yes I got lazy and tired at the end. Writing for all these years and I still don't know how to end a scene. Oops.
> 
> Leave a comment or hit me up at colourcodedbinders on tumblr if you have questions, criticisms, or suggestions! One of these days I'll give you guys my twitter handle too, but not today.
> 
> Until next time!


End file.
